I was running across the Mesa Trail, feet crunching in the snow, eyes vigilant for icy crags here and there. I was mindful but cruising. In a flow state.

It’s often in these flow states—where I am fully absorbed in the activity I am doing, lose track of time, and have an equanimous inner-outer awareness that is total Presence, where some of my soul truths rise up.

I don’t remember what particular “fluctuations of the mind” were arising for me prior to that run, but I do reflect now that there is always a possible perturbance, problem, or inconvenience we want to get rid of. Discontent—asantosa in Sanskrit.

Runs are one of the modalities in my trainer’s toolbox for stilling those fluctuations, and reentering on the prana that makes me feel present, wholesome, here and now.

I slowed down ever so slightly to tip-toe across a larger rocky area—a little sketchy and scramble-y, then found solace in a flatter running path and I was cruising again.

I heard the faint trickles of ice cold water to my right, a delicate and loving sound, and I found the beauty beside me. A mountain-fallen creek glazed over with translucent, bone-white ice, yet still sharing its essence, flow, and fluidity. Water continued to sway left and right like a lover held in her lover’s arms dancing to a sweet slow song. The water was contained but it was moving. There was life. Dynamism. Joy in the tiny ripples.

And the phrase came to me: “SAME FUCKING SOURCE.”

Again, I don’t recall what I was worried about, why I felt trapped, or what disturbance I wanted to purge from my life…but the river made me remember my inner power.

SAME FUCKING SOURCE.

What does this phrase even mean?

It means, there is an infinite, immortal, unwavering, and untouchable source of “continuation” within each of us. A mixture of instinct, will, drive, and amour for more…more connection, more exploration, more accomplishment, more discovery of what we are made of and what the world has to share/offer.

This source sits, at least in my body, right in my Heart.

It’s where what I call my Joy Jar exists. Full of exuberant, ego-free, enduring energy to “just keep fucking going.”
I tap into the Joy Jar when I am amidst a rugged workout that asks me to continue to exert myself when my mind is telling me “enough.”
To keep living my fullest expression of life.

I tap into the Joy Jar when I am writing a blog post and Resistance roars her ugly head and says “you don’t even know what you are talking about” or “nobody cares.”
To keep living my fullest expression of life.

I tap into the Joy Jar when I am investing in a continuing education course to overcome old fears of scarcity and realize that everything I am choosing to spend is a conscious investment in my brighter future.
To keep living my fullest expression of life.

The Joy Jar might contain a certain color, texture, image/s, movie/s, and motions for you.

I often picture it containing marigold honey, a sweet, succulent and divine resource that, somehow is ever-replenishing, and wants to add its natural richness and floral-ancestry, containing a genetic message to keep producing, keep producing, keep producing…churning inside of my little ❤️.

During a workout, I dip my legs and arms, my toes and fingers, my heart outside of that heart (mettaaaaaa) into that Joy Jar for the sustenance to keep going.

During a writing session, I dip my neural networks and past traumas into that Joy Jar for the glucose to keep going.

During a financial investment, I dip my wallet into that Joy Jar for the prosperity within to keep going.

Each the Joy Jar and the flowing water within the ice are reminders to me, on a soul level, that we always have the power to keep moving forward. That our bodies are always working for us, not against us. I mean this on a human plane and a geographical plane. Even when bones are broken and fibers are torn—and we may label ourselves as “broken” or “done for”, there is a force within us that is full of ripe, eager life. Even when the water freezes—and we may label what was once liquid now as ice, there is a force in the pond that is full of ripe, eager life.

And in this ripe, eager life is an intelligence much bigger than our brains, much more powerful than our minds, that knows “we got the sauce” to not just survive, but thrive.

The ingredients to breakthrough and bourgeon into an even more brilliant form of energy than ever before.

An intelligence that knows that, even when the mind is like “no, that’s the limit, I’m done,” that that just cannot be true. It is a lie, and you know better. You know deeper. That “you are limitless,” and “you are not done.”

Steven Pressfield, one of my personally most cherished authors, calls that voice who gives all of its effort to convince you to call it quits Resistance (yes, with a capital ‘r’). I’d call the opposing force, that sits within—fueled by nature, spirit, favor, Universe, and that is working with you Insistence. Perhaps it’s the Insistence that reminds the Resistance that is can be power for good rather than evil.

Positive insistence.

It wants you to keep going because it believes in you. Because it sees a future of even more prosperity, love, and flourishing than you can see.

Insistence is not just found in ripples and shimmers of water within a frozen pond.

Insistence is EVERYWHERE.

It is in the twinkle that alights in a baby’s eyes when her temper tantrum over spilled milk is interrupted by a tall person who is just absolutely a fascination to her brand new eyes. She forgets about the milk and she is enamored with the new creature. The frequency of her body changes, her eyes brighten, her tears cease, and she is back in life.

It is in the flicker of heat that flushes through the hands and feet after an ice bath—what was ghostly beginning to regain color, wiggle, grasp, gesture, and return to life.

It is in the remembrance of our ancestors overcoming immense adversity—like hiding in a shed for two years with no food or physical connection, when we are sitting at a coffee shop imbibing in the great luxury of typing a blog post and an iced oat milk latte. What seemed like the worst situation in the world—a travesty, is fed perspective that offers immediate gratitude and the opportunity to choose with full intention to thank now who you are expanding into.

It is in every period of time—no matter the length, which you feel you have nothing left in the tank, no inspiration, no propulsion, no strength…that you must remember and reconnect to the SAME FUCKING SOURCE.

I bet other images come up for you. Let those shimmer and grow within. Let your connection to those divine sources of energy increase in charge.

These ideas:
having nothing left
no more air to breathe
no force to carry you ahead
no strength to overcome

First, thank them. Make peace with them. They are also on your team.

But, in the vein of this post, also recognize that to believe that those are the truth…your truth, is to become blinded by illusion.

Whatever your SAME FUCKING SOURCE is, contact it every single f*cking day.

The SAME FUCKING SOURCE is the energetic reminder that you are made of more and you are designed to keep moving forward.

The SAME FUCKING SOURCE is the energetic reminder that even when you cannot see or feel it, you have a little energizer bunny beating at your heart’s drum for you.

The SAME FUCKING SOURCE is the energetic signature of your life force, always there and always on your side, inside of you, beside you, behind you, above you, below you, giving you that boost you need to keep going.

What is your SAME FUCKING SOURCE? It may show up in multiple forms and in multiple places. It can be everywhere if you are so awake.

Much like I spoke about the rainbow always being behind the clouds even when we cannot see it, the SAME FUCKING SOURCE is that light that keeps you on your path, always, even when you cannot see it. But when you cannot see it, I urge you to look for it, and to feel into it, to embody it, because it is there.

Let it glow and let it grow.

When I was running those mountain trails and I made contact with that SAME FUCKING SOURCE without—in the frozen river, and with that SAME FUCKING SOURCE within—the heart-opening expansion of energy that put new pep in my step, I cracked up.

I was giggling as I galloped across the ever-growing path.

That’s a sign—much like a sign of healing, that nature is nudging me to notice the infinite playful power within.
The power to stay in the game, cuz the game loves me.

I stopped my run momentarily, bent down, and cupped the water into my hands to splash my face.

“Woo! I’m alive!” my body happily screamed.

At that moment, much like how a rainbow smiles through the curtains of clouds—where the color returns and the freshness of life arrives again, the phrase “SAME FUCKING SOURCE” was etched into my heart and will be forever more.

Remember, friends, that wherever you are and wherever you go, you have a SAME FUCKING SOURCE to—a will, a desire, an Insistence on continuing to explore life.