Being human beings, we get the great pleasure and opportunity to push ourselves to see what we are capable of. Most of the time, this is through breakdown. Running further and faster. Lifting weights for more reps and lifting them at heavier loads. Creating movies, books, plays, video games — incredible other-worldly worlds that can take a lifetime of hammering away at the grindstone to bring to life.
It is beautiful — testing the yang’s capacity to inflate and broaden the illusory bubble of our limitations.
Being women, specifically, we get the other great pleasure and opportunity to (well, it really does feel like pushing sometimes), PULL ourselves into what we are capable of. Through surrender, tenderness, and relaxation.
It is beautiful — honoring the yin’s capacity and explore the infinite depths of our softness. Softness not translated as weakness; translated as: an innate intelligent savvy to give love where love is needed.
Truly, we all (human beings) get to do this; but as women, we are physiologically stacked to test this skill of Surrender in unique ways.
Enter: Your Flow.
The menstrual cycle, as I noted in this previous article, is a Lifetime experience, not a 3 to 4 to 7 days every month experience. Once we embrace it’s ubiquitous presence in our lives, we can flow with a lot more flow (ease, grace, enjoyment, elevation) during those sometimes cramp-laden, fatigue-ridden, uncomfortable days.
Before I share how to create more ease during your cycle(s), I want to dive into what I declare the problem with periods.
Menstruation is given a bad rap culturally, and as women — if we are not awake to it, we internalize that negativity.
Culturally, we are shamed and judged — intentionally or unintentionally gaslighted, for our experiences as cycle-goers.
As a Varsity basketball player in high school, I remember our assistant coach (a woman herself) yelling at one of my teammates to “get up and run!” when she was sunken against the blue matted wall suffering with stomach-twisting cramps during her period. She added: “having cramps is no excuse not to run!”
What does this teach a young woman about her innate wisdom moving through her?
To suppress it, to fear it, to hide it, to cajole it into a little pocket of her soul where it is safe but won’t interfere with anyone else’s life or expectations of her.
This is the cultural preponderance that gives our flows a bad rap.
We do actually feel undesirable symptoms, but they are inflated and pounded into our psyches in an abusive way. In an UNTRUE way.
From advertisements for symptom-reducing medications like Midol…to folklores of hysterical, manic women doing crazy, irrational things during their periods…to jokes galore about “how to stay away from moody women when they are bleeding.”
What does this teach any woman of any age about her innate wisdom moving through her?
That it is wrong, unacceptable, bizarre, and gross.
Society has conditioned our minds as women to go feel fear and shame about our periods. This itself is the problem; but it will only remain a problem if we do not challenge it and return to the truth: you as a woman, as a cycle-goer, are making magic.
Sure, any feeling is neutral until we associate an emotional tone with it, but we think of everything we experience during our periods as undesirable. So, as bleeding approaches, we begin to brace for the experience. We linger in the lower emotional state of the belief “I will have to suffer for the next 3 to 4 to 7 days.” This is a fear-fueled experience. That’s the problem.
Fear is good and healthy, but not when it is osmotically subsumed into a whole category of people — especially when the people who are feeding the fear are the beneficiaries themselves of the judged natural phenomenon!
But this is not an attack article…it’s an inspire article. So I’ll continue to uplift.
I have two hopes to deliver through this article, beyond educating you with the real, practical actions to have a more enjoyable, restful flow:
To ask yourself to exercise the kindness, restfulness, and surrender you have in your heart to take it easy and listen to your body. This is the challenge.
To consider the awesomeness and elegance of this Time, this Body. To appreciate the wisdom of womanhood that you GET to represent and to examine what it is holding: an opportunity for more life — physically and metaphorically:
a) As a blossoming of you in your life. Each time you shed you are coming out of a chrysalis, re-entering the world as a new woman. I conceptualize this as an almost sped up Hero’s Journey (a la Joseph Campbell) — a micro-cycle in the macro-cycles of our Hero’s Journeys, that we women are embodiments of and endowed with the privilege of. I visualize this as those cute Matryoshka dolls.
credit: GalinAsia on etsy.com
Each wooden doll is imbued with the symbolism of fertility. The largest doll is considered the matriarch of the family, while the smallest is called the ‘seed’ and represents the soul. They’re seen as a representation of a chain of mothers carrying on the family legacy through the child in their womb (corinthia.com).
Each time you shed your sacred stream, you are uncasing a chapter of your old self and getting closer to the seat of your soul, opening more of your truth up to the world.
b) As an expression of a new physical lifeform. A baby. A miracle. A new life moving through you. WOW!
To me, the opposite of Fear is Love, and it is completely in the realm of your choices to choose to having a love-fueled experience during your period (which, recall, is a Lifetime Experience…not a 3 to 4 to 7 days/month experience).
So…
What is a solution to your flow?
Abby, how can I choose kindness, restfulness, and surrender during my flow?
How can I appreciate the brightness, birth, and life-force in my flow?
It’s less about solving; more about accepting and salving and celebrating, y’all.
Here Are The Five Ways to Flow With More Flow During Your Flow
Drink More Water. 💦
Every day, we are recommended to drink half of our body weight in ounces of water. For a 150-pound woman, that is 75 oz. During our periods, our hormonal shifts (lowering of progesterone and estrogen) cause our bodies to retain more water in an attempt to preserve electrolytes and nutrients (glam.com). This leads to feeling bloated and fatigued.
Stay ahead of the game like you would hydrating before a flight, beginning to drink 2–4 extra glasses of water a day the 2–4 days before and during your bleeding period. You’d be surprised what a little extra water can do for your body and soul (on a larger health note, this book is a game-changer to understand the near panacea water is for our states of health).
2. Double Down On Magnesium. 🜘
Magnesium regulates muscle contractions (including the heart), nerve signaling between the brain and body, supports strong and healthy bones, is a building block for ATP (energy), boosts our immune systems, and stabilizes our moods. Remember that bad rap “moodiness” I referred to earlier? Sometimes literally addressing dehydration with the combo of more water and more magnesium can qualm those mood swings.
Add a magnesium supplement to your diet. I recommend Natural Vitality’s “Calm” supplement powder, which has 325 mg/serving (77% of your daily needs). I also like 1–2 packs of LMNT per day. It has a blend of 1,000 mg of sodium, 200 mg of potassium, and 60 mg of magnesium.
3. Move Often — Especially When You “Catch A Mood.”
Alright, whose side am I on? YOURS, girl.
We all catch a mood, and by this I mean two separate things:
our hormones shift, and we may feel more fatigued, irritable, anxious, depressed, sensitive, sad, sentimental, etc.
we actually notice the shift in our moods (we catch it as it is happening)…this is called meta-mood, an awareness of your own mood
When you do catch that your mood is dipping, slipping, and making you feel cranky and crumby, move.
Go for a walk, do some cat-cows, dance, lift weights (see my article on how to sync your exercise programming with the phases of your cycle here). When a mood overcomes you — like the moon casting its shadow over the Earth and like an evil spider casting the sticky silk of its spinnerets around you, you can keep the web plastic by moving your body. Remember, it’s not an evil web actually, its an intentional darkness you get to move through to come out a fresher, next-level woman.
4. Sleep When The Urge Overcomes You.
I hear a bunch of Fuck You’s from the crowd.
“I have a job, I can’t just take a nap.”
“I don’t sleep well during the day.”
“I can’t afford to sleep in, I have to make money.”
Yes, cultural constraints and societal pressures present as a problem here. But, I dare you to do it anyways.
Sleep is one of the most vital drugs we have in our medicine cabinet of life. Getting “just” two hours less sleep per night than your body actually needs contributes to the cascade of:
Reduced alertness
Shortened attention span
Slower than normal reaction time
Poorer judgement
Reduced awareness of the environment and situation
Reduced decision-making skills
Poorer memory
Reduced concentration
Increased likelihood of mentally ‘stalling’ or fixating on one thought
Increased likelihood of moodiness and bad temper
Reduced work efficiency
Loss of motivation
Errors of omission — making a mistake by forgetting to do something
Errors of commission — making a mistake by doing something, but choosing the wrong option
Microsleep — brief periods of involuntary sleeping that range from a few seconds to a few minutes in duration.
(betterhealth.vic.gov.au)
I know that I personally get extra sleepy and crave naps like a baby during my bleeding days. I honor this by curling up and cuddling up if I feel the need. Notice if the little mrumurs of a naptime are calling to you, and when they do, say “yes.”
It’s not your problem that the working world culture has not given credence and respect to the real whirlwind that one woman’s cycle can feel like.
If you already have the breaks in your day, take the nap. If you are committed to a ridiculous work schedule, that’s a bigger problem.
5. Create Your Own Crib.
Create the environment that feels safe, wholesome, and comfortable to you. That will allow your nervous system to go “ahhhhh” releasing stress and receiving love.
Grace yourself or swaddle yourself with a blanket (I love weighted blankets). Hold something warm and/or soft against your belly and/or heart. I love these soothing, smile-inducing Warmies stuffed-animals that you can heat up and they release a lavender aroma. Lay down however you need to. Sometimes laying on your belly feels best, giving your gut a gentle massage to keep any stagnation flowing. Generally, create the environment — from floor to walls to roof that allows you to relax.
To me, the opposite of Fear is Love, and it is completely in the realm of your choices to choose to having a love-fueled experience during your period (which, recall, is a Lifetime Experience…not a 3 to 4 to 7 days/month experience).
To stop suffering during your period — your lifetime until you reach menopause, you must choose to intrinsically and actively honor your flow.
The organic orchestration of hormones, body parts, and neurotransmission we call our “period” is a cycle that deserves joy.
May you honor your precious aura of containment and beauty, radiance, your womb of womanhood and creativity, your flow-state capital, and may you treat Her with tender love, compassion, and non-judgmental WHOLENESS.
In Flow,
Coach Abbs